As we are all “hopefully” aware by now, the Euro 2016 is set to kick off today at 12:30 AM, IST. The first show down will be between the Host-Nation of France as their boots clash with the Central European country of Romania. The European Championship is one of the biggest football tournaments held in Europe, sponsored by UEFA (Union of European Football Associations). The 24 team tournament, including the host nation, is set to span over a month, i.e. from the 10th of June – 10th of July.
Well, that seems like enough initial fuel to get you started! Now, that we know the basics and already seem to have lost interest, let’s get to the crux of why we all are investing our time on reading this. Yes, how not to sound stupid and be embarrassed everywhere there is football chatter this season is what we’re going to walk you through!
Pick a team already!
The first step is acceptance. Accept you don’t know anything about football, choose your team and learn a bit briefly about it. Make sure you get some merchandize belonging to the team, a jersey if you’re enterprising enough! These moves will definitely make you seem genuine about a team or at least fake being an eager learner.
Learn some cool lingo
Mate, if you’re going to be a football fan or at least pretend to be one, you’re going to need to have a go at learning some football slangs. Believe it or not, you could really mess this up if you’re not prepared. Calling a “six” when a goal is scored could send you straight to gallows of embarrassment. So, knowing a bit of football banter can definitely increase your chances of being more socially accepted as a genuine supporter. Here are a few famous ones:
What a screamer! (When someone scores from a long distance)
Ref! (Disagreeing with officials and their decisions)
Man on! (When a player doesn’t know he is being marked by the opposition)
He’s a dead ball specialist (When one of the players in the team specializes in scoring corner goals, free-kicks etc., whenever the ball is stationary.)
Fake your support with the occasional yell
A true and avid supporter will always be on the edge when his/her team is playing. You need to call out “fouls” (even when there is no foul). You need to ask rhetorical questions even when there is no need. Why you ask? Because all true supporters religiously support their team irrespective of whether they are right or wrong.
Have an idea
You don’t need to know your team inside out as mentioned earlier. Nope! But you definitely need to know its key players and their jersey numbers or you’re in for a massive quiz that won’t end too well for you. Honestly, it’s not too much hard work when you realize most of your buddies know about almost every team there is out there!
Listen to the commentary
Let’s face it! Commentators give best insights and forecasts on the game. They’re paid too much to not know the game. Listen very closely to what they say during the match and react in alliance with their comments and you’ll fit right in. This ensures your reactions to a situation in a game are never wrong.
Better say nothing than anything
We need to understand that India is a country where cricket is life. The masses majorly invest themselves in the sport and have very little or no knowledge about football. There is a distinctly fine line between a goal keeper and a wicket keeper we shouldn’t forget! We must not tread territories we know nothing about, so zip it unless you’re sure about what you’re saying.
The last resort
The best and smartest way to play your cards when you know nothing and have no drive to know anything either is to support the team, majority of your bro’s are supporting. This will make you blend in slyly almost instantly with little or no focus on how much you actually know 😉 This works!